Gender is an ongoing event that is present in every human encounter. It can be very subtle and of no importance for the immediate matter, or it can be a big obstacle and highly significant to the situation at hand. Optimally, I would like the issue of gender to be always acknowledged, and that, in a given interaction, people notice and take responsibility for their experience of their own gender.

In a society domineered by sexual repression there is gender categorization, rigidity and stigma, while in a liberal society there is room for gender fluidity. By gender fluidity I am referring to gender as a continuum between the polarities of female and male, and it emerges as a function of an integration and embodiment of the person’s feminine and masculine selves. What gender an individual experiences as dominant at a given time will depend on how the self emerges in relation to the immediate circumstances.

In couples, gender is usually associated with the union of two “opposite” (i.e. male and female) genders, which creates a polarity and thus an erotic edge. Among the many variations can be a heterosexual couple wherein the woman expresses the predominantly male gender while the female gender is predominant for the man. In genderqueer couples, the expression of gender can be fluid with each partner shifting between masculine and feminine roles frequently, or it can be fairly consistent. In my view, during a sexual encounter between two people, whether it is people with different or similar biological genitals there is never “no gender” or “one gender.” In any given erotic moment there will be a gender differential, which can be either clearly defined or, because of rapid gender oscillation between the individuals involved, difficult to pinpoint.

Ideally this treatment model is gender neutral, meaning the underlying philosophy is independent of the gender of the person being treated. Clinically however, there is no such thing as completely gender neutral. The therapist/client interaction will always be influenced by their particular gender dynamic, independently of the gender of either one. However, as long as this is recognized and acknowledged it can serve as an important tool, and not an obstacle, in the therapeutic process.

In my work I aim to facilitate and support clients in their process of exploring and integrating the gender(s) that feels true to them at any given stage of their life.